I am a woman speaking for myself for the moment. I actually don't know if other women experience this in the way that I do.
There comes a point during the monthly gift, the red box, "shark week", the visit from Aunt Flo, when there is some sort of a wrench & then a kind of peace sets in. The dam has broken, the tug-struggle is over. Ok, tug of war. You know that moment? There is a moment, after either a lot or a little back & forth, there is one great tug from one side, and everyone on both sides knows the game is over. This does not preclude the messy slide to the end. It's kind of like that. For me, the tensest tugging is within the first day or two. That's when the most pain is, and usually when the heaviest blood & tissue release happens, but not always. As for that final tug though, after which you know the worst is over, I never know whether that will be 3 days or 6 days into the process. It seems to depend not only on what's going on in my life, but the world. A normal amount of negativity going on, it's difficult & painful. An increased amount of negativity gong on & it's truly terrible, possibly e.r. worthy. I think probably most women have that Earthen connection to some degree. I'm not sure why I'm sharing this tonight, maybe partly to give the male reader some insight. Yet I don't want to go through the whole thing right now. The utter insanity that accompanies hormones is a whole other piece, and one I think best written by someone else. Biological Science Girl, where are you? Perhaps there is some other cosmic reason I'm writing this, there's some person out in the world who will glean from this little piece some important insight for their own difficult processies. Perhaps that. In any case, that final tug, I call it the Break. It bears a great spiritual resemblance to a fever break, and the physical feeling is also similar. There is a great relief, a knowledge that the worst is probably over or at the very least you'll enjoy a nice hiatus and a sound sleep. There's still bleeding, but the fight is done. A curious thing. I experienced it on Shabbat, which was odd as I had only started on Friday. Too soon, but I thought I may have lucked out. Well. That was just the grace of Shabbat cutting me some slack in the negativity, because it returned. It has happened again tonight though, and I am feeling Starshine. Now let me detail the feeling of the Break, because it's more than relief. It feels like a glow. There is a kind of peaceful happiness, closely related somehow to gratitude, that ensues & prevails. It feels as though it's in the body; I don't know if that's true. I do know there is already a sense of renewal, though the blood still flows. Hithertoo the young & old may be so bold & never told, through the fire or through the ire Her weeping spirit holds us Higher.
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