Sometimes she felt them before she saw them, prompting her to turn her soul, by way of her face, toward the inky sky. That black that is blue that is black like the dark stripes on the tallit. Timeless, endless, constant. Tonight though, it was only by the luck of some stray angel (one of her optimistic ones she guessed), who somehow tilted her chin up sideways. Then, the usual delighted gasp. It was one of _those_ nights, a mind crowded with past or future, things + fears + lists, a brain that didn't want to be interrupted by the inconvenience of the miracle of Beyond. Tonight's brainiac special was future/fears. She had been to return a movie, was now walking back, and some crazy angel she had earned somewhere had reached down through her thoughts to kiss her third eye. All was stars for her now. Presently she continued her walk and with a smile bloomed from her heart. She felt those stars, out there, each single one in its place. She felt them also on the top of her head, down the back of her spine. She wondered briefly if each could correspond to a freckle of hers. Smile. She felt it then as she walked, & saw it too- each freckle connected to a star by a tiny beam of light. Each freckle connected an opposite freckle also, tiny strands of light beaming through her body like the neurons in her brain, like the "Mission Impossible" laser maze, acting as strings for sets of tiny invisible violins. And what of this symphony? What to make of it, indeed. She looked at the stars again, to address them directly, for clarification. Idiot. It seemed that they said it, but with a gentle laughter, such as a best friend might use as she watched you retrieve your keys from the freezer.
Before the holiday had come in, she had watched a video, a little clip on social media. It was the life of a strawberry, all the way from flower, to fruit, to the dump because it wasn't eaten. She had felt pain as she watched. All that energy, & yes, work of growing, becoming ripe & perfect, all gone to waste. Now, it was different. Twice over the holiday (this one crammed with modest food items) she had tasted the flower in what she ate. It was quite a surprise. It happened first with a carrot. Then again a day or two later, with an olive. She was becoming a little more used to these pedestrian miracles, but it was very exciting anyway. She had said some sort of prayer after watching the video but hardly remembered her wish at all. It was some sort of 'help', awareness, appreciation combo. Presently she had come to know the truth of an olive- green, flower, fruit- mystery no history all in one bite. The flower of a carrot, now, would be more of an antenna for that fine root, yet it was also strongly present. She wondered how many flowers she would taste from now on. Can it be accomplished with just a little kavanah? She stood musing in the grocery store, staring at the lemons like an idiot. Again. She imagined them as their flower selves, then everything and everyone as Flower. Yes. That's the Truth. Nothing would ever be the same. Again.
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