O beautiful City, I know not which hill they speak of unless it's the one in our minds. The one we built ourselves: the one we build ourselves. Our City. Our Table. This table, it has its share of stains. There was genocide, not thought of & not taught as genocide because at the time of such events Native Americans were not thought of as people. Well that's a doozy. There was slavery too, and for far too long if it went for a day. Now in my country's defense, many of those fighting to structure a country whose declaration contained the notion that all men (ahem) are created equal were concurrently fighting to abolish slavery, and you can't usually stop the momentum of institutionalized abusive nonsense overnight. There was no social media then. Yes, this table has its share of stains, two big ones, and various associated stains from the same dish, but no matter. YES it matters, that's not what I meant. What I mean is, it is only matter to work with, to build a higher plane with, to make ourselves better if we all proceed in humility together. Black lives matter, and this white girl is buying the tshirt because there is no person of color in America who should have to, for G*d's sake. Without putting all the blame on police (& I don't), it should not have come up. Yet we're all still dancing around these stains, putting things on top of them so they don't show, fighting in various ways to get them out sometimes tripping over them in our desire(s) to get it right, whatever our version of Right is. Dear white people, make no mistake, people are dying due to these stains. Some are police, but most are not, and most are on the browner side, and most of those are of (stolen) African descent.
Now is the time. We must stay steady, stay centered in whatever each of us understands as G*d consciousness or Good Consciousness. Now is the time when each one of us, no matter where we are, who we are, or what color we may be to stand still & tall, take a little heat, and take responsibility. Our country was not founded in perfection, there was a lot wrong. Last week, our First Lady of African American descent stood up and exposed a very specific and troubling stain, that our revered White (ahem) House was built by slaves, for the whole nation to process responsibly. The next part of our evolution as a country and a people may include our first female president, whom our first Black First Lady was endorsing with that very speech. So what does all that tell you? It tells me that no matter what has been and is wrong, it is of no matter compared to what CAN be right. If we fight the good Fight, with all our Might, with G*d's help & the Light we can reach our true Height. Plunk to the lungs Our winds heavenly sung And mine eyes overwrung All those wrongs done & done Yet, another One comes And we'll all hold our tongues And we do it with love For each other & Dove Holy Monster we see you Holy hell won't contain you She'll dismantle the sword I'll dismantle the sandal Just the task to unhand ye For the word of the Moirai And a better directive More alignment, perspective Look at that, there's a candle In the Den of the scandal That glow growing holy Leave the gun, take cannoli Your best future a rocket Freed from the wrong docket And all purposeful lessons Are all manner of dresses.
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Among other things of which my life consists, including a full time job.. I've been making soap like a crazy person. That is, continuing to make soap between my job and my studying. Soapmaking is a creative activity that is soothing, stress relieving, and, unlike studying, only moderately intellectual. It also leaves you with a wonderful cruelty free vegan object that everyone actually needs for daily use. Also on the plus side it goes AWAY with delightful use rather than cluttering up shelves for years to come. It's like Maya Angelou said, you can remember how it made you FEEL. Anyway, I'm going to splash a few photos below, but by far my most exciting development is a SOAP STAMP. Woo!!! The design is something I doodled I don't know how long ago whilst on the phone I believe, & I liked it so much I've been carrying it around for years without knowing why or what would come of it. The first soap I've ever stamped, left-hand side, below. :-) The soap stamp was made by PlantSpark, who I found on Etsy.
I am a woman speaking for myself for the moment. I actually don't know if other women experience this in the way that I do.
There comes a point during the monthly gift, the red box, "shark week", the visit from Aunt Flo, when there is some sort of a wrench & then a kind of peace sets in. The dam has broken, the tug-struggle is over. Ok, tug of war. You know that moment? There is a moment, after either a lot or a little back & forth, there is one great tug from one side, and everyone on both sides knows the game is over. This does not preclude the messy slide to the end. It's kind of like that. For me, the tensest tugging is within the first day or two. That's when the most pain is, and usually when the heaviest blood & tissue release happens, but not always. As for that final tug though, after which you know the worst is over, I never know whether that will be 3 days or 6 days into the process. It seems to depend not only on what's going on in my life, but the world. A normal amount of negativity going on, it's difficult & painful. An increased amount of negativity gong on & it's truly terrible, possibly e.r. worthy. I think probably most women have that Earthen connection to some degree. I'm not sure why I'm sharing this tonight, maybe partly to give the male reader some insight. Yet I don't want to go through the whole thing right now. The utter insanity that accompanies hormones is a whole other piece, and one I think best written by someone else. Biological Science Girl, where are you? Perhaps there is some other cosmic reason I'm writing this, there's some person out in the world who will glean from this little piece some important insight for their own difficult processies. Perhaps that. In any case, that final tug, I call it the Break. It bears a great spiritual resemblance to a fever break, and the physical feeling is also similar. There is a great relief, a knowledge that the worst is probably over or at the very least you'll enjoy a nice hiatus and a sound sleep. There's still bleeding, but the fight is done. A curious thing. I experienced it on Shabbat, which was odd as I had only started on Friday. Too soon, but I thought I may have lucked out. Well. That was just the grace of Shabbat cutting me some slack in the negativity, because it returned. It has happened again tonight though, and I am feeling Starshine. Now let me detail the feeling of the Break, because it's more than relief. It feels like a glow. There is a kind of peaceful happiness, closely related somehow to gratitude, that ensues & prevails. It feels as though it's in the body; I don't know if that's true. I do know there is already a sense of renewal, though the blood still flows. Hithertoo the young & old may be so bold & never told, through the fire or through the ire Her weeping spirit holds us Higher. |
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